FFF
By: Nawal Aditya
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Some content may be offensive. Contains violence, suggestive themes, and both crude and deep humor. May cause reader to delve into human nature and question their [the reader’s] existence, and some laughter. You [the reader] have been warned.
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A student walked to room 251 exactly six seconds before the bell rung in a dull but loud monotone. The student walked to his desk, his steps in four-four time, with a thousandth of a second interval in each step every 2.499 seconds. The student sat down in his desk, and took out his pencil, only to – very carefully – put it in the dull depression, a perfect 3D outline that stood at the top of his desk, formed from the pencil landing at the exact same spot every single class, every single school day, every single year. He tried to get a book out, but the subconscious thought dissolved instantly, and his hand reached for a sheet of notebook paper, while his left hand held the 2HB pencil. The student smiled, or at least tried putting some feeling into it, since this was the only expression the student was capable of. However, his facial expression showed no change, whatsoever. The teacher began with the same speech and the student was listening. He was completely content, for in school he was free! The student was still dreaming, when his thoughts seemed to have evaporated, as if someone had pulled a plug in his brain. The student discarded all of his ideas, at the same time looking at both: Mr. 229, his teacher, and his very own left arm that rose from the desk, and began taking notes. The student savored his freedom and smiled his artificial smile.
On a scale of one to nothing, some people exist as ones, while others exist as nothings. The ones are usually the first to kick the bucket, while the nothings stand and watch. If Frederick Fitzgerald Filbert was measured on a scale of one to nothing, he would be less than nothing. This was very much like the school he went to. Did it exist? No, probably not. But the nonexistent students still received a copious amount of homework, hypothetically speaking of course.
On the east of coast of a different dimension, it could be said that there was an intermediate school called Westlake Intermediate School or WIS for short. Humans could usually see it on a very hot summer day, or while being strapped to a straight jacket by The Force, the asylum down the street. The students that attended Westlake Intermediate for a long period of time were able to see the school instantly, but the image of themselves fell into someone else’s control, along with complete power of the student’s body. There were few who were in the School’s grasp, yet far from being choked by it.
---
The metal door banged open, making a large dent in the room’s wall. Every sound quit playing when Frederick Fitzgerald Filbert paused, as did his two best friends.
“Guys, come on.” Frederick said. He had already been aggravated by watching the course of events that happened today.
“Nao,” Maul replied. One bird that was exactly thirty yards away from the trio, almost choked when Maul did not obey Frederick’s orders.
“Maul, hurry up already.” Mauler told him in an exasperated voice. Mauler was just eager to get inside.
“But Mauler, I thought you loved me.” Maul changed his voice, making Frederick groan out loud.
“God, what the he–”
Mauler interrupted him cursing, “Not today Maul, only on weekends.”
“Okay,” Maul replied. A slight yell was heard in the morning, all across Friendsweed. This was Maul and Mauler being kicked into the classroom, head first. A few more people entered the room, and slowly everything got calmer.
“Hey guys don’t forget the K-Facto–” Varu yelled, but only got so far until his airway was cut off from any access to air.
“Do you really want to finish that sentence?” RY took out his custom made death star that had a radius of only one inch, yet could annihilate anything it was designated to destroy. It pulsed wickedly, and Varu gasped, as two white-hot eyes formed on the death star’s surface, along with bright smile. The thing in RY’s palm grinned, pulsing. It wanted to destroy him. RY gave Varu another shake, “Because I really don’t care where I shove this.”
Varu, the classic idiot said, “Yes?” RY lifted Varu off the floor with one hand, and the ear shattering squeal of the Prep broke out, when she saw what was happening to her boyfriend. RY lifted the small death star, which was glowing obsidian. Frederick Fitzgerald Filbert put his hand on RY’s shoulder. The world grew quiet, once more. The two omnipotent beings looked each other in the eye, both standing around seven feet tall. Frederick’s black hair, ruffled with some imaginary wind, while RY’s buzz cut remain firm. Frederick’s probing eyes sent important messages to RY’s mind. Frederick Fitzgerald Filbert spoke, “Not now,” he was shaking his head, slowly, “Not now.” The archaic forces of implosion and disintegration fought canceled other out. The bell rung.
---
Mrs. W entered the room, and the class looked at her, except for “Not Applicable” who was still looking for his homework. He found it, and exclaimed with surprise, then went to turn it in.
“Okay class; get out your warm up.”
Sanny was frozen in midstride, “Mrs. W, I thought weapons weren’t allowed in school.”
“Of course, they aren’t my dear.”
“Then what’s with the barbed whip?”
Mrs. W looked surprised and answered, “Oh, this? This is a new method devised to teach hard learners. However, we cannot discriminate against stupid people, so I have to try to apply this method to all of you.” The Prep finally spots the whip, and begins squealing like there is no tomorrow. Maul thinks of this is as the perfect moment, “That’s what she sa–”
No, Maul, Frederick uses his mind to deliver his message, and laughs as Maul’s eyes widen, slowly.
“That’s what she sa–” Maul only says it that far, but this time on purpose; making the class laugh, and Frederick cock his gun.
Mrs. W tries to instruct FFF, “Frederick, put the gun away.”
“Actually, I have a license, along with the approval to kill from superior life forms, such as myself,” Frederick informed his teacher as he levitated himself into his desk. The class did not know what to say.
RY decided to turn his attention to his friend, “Hello, ‘Not Applicable’ where is the money?”
“Behind the dumpster in the back of the school.”
“‘Not Applicable’ be quiet.” Mrs. W ordered.
“Not Applicable” turned around, “Your words have no effect on me, neither does your extra amount of mass. All of this does not matter. It is not applicable.” He turned around, and began conversing with RY, once more.
Mrs. W cracked her whip, and strutted over to where the two friends were standing, “Sit down, RY.” The Prep grated out a squeal, once more, in turn causing Mafioso and Maul to start a screeching chorus of squeals. Mafioso turned around and slapped Maul on the face, for everyone’s benefit. A quick sigh of relief was sent around the room. Maul slapped Mafioso back, creating an unbreakable chain of events.
RY2: “I am sitting.” Mrs. W spun around, only to see RY’s desk filled with…RY?
A strange laugh came out of nowhere, “You make my stomach chuckle,” but then his face grew cold, “Yes, there is more than one of me.” RY walked out.
Frederick was muttering away, “Everyone is copying me.”
RY2: “Actually, we solved the genetic code to the double helix first!”
Frederick was astounded, “Wha–”
RY3: “Yes, Frederick.”
---
The class was almost to an end, and the bell readied itself to ring.
Mrs. W had something else in plan, “Okay class, you have to finish 1-1 to 10-4, which is only about one thousand to two thousand questions. We also have a test tomorrow, so remember to study. Oh, I almost forgot – the project is due tomorrow, as well. And you have to finish the know-it-notes that I assigned yesterday.” She listened to the class groan, smiling, as if their pain reinvigorated her.
“You can’t do this to us!” One student yelled indignantly, “We have lives, too.”
“I think I just did.” Mrs. W chuckled.
“These are the times that try men’s souls,” Maul quoted Common Sense, written by Thomas Paine.
Frederick raised one eyebrow, knowing that this was a bit too much for every mortal in this room. He still needed people to manipulate. “Mrs. W, I challenge you to a duel – whoever wins commands this class.”
“You’re on,” Mrs. W told him, getting out her weapons, while Frederick was still in the desk. Quick as lightning, she threw a razor-edged protractor in his direction, aiming for the jugular. The protractor came an inch of Frederick’s throat, but then stopped in midair and imploded. Mrs. W took a sword-like pencil, and yelled, “For Norwegia!”
“It’s Norway,” Frederick said. Both the pencil and Mrs. W came an inch within Frederick’s throat, then imploded on themselves. FFF turned around, and finished his homework.
“Well, you guys are free, “He told them, ducking down to step out the metal door.
The bell rung.
“That note’s flat.” Mauler said.
“Your mom’s flat!” Maul added.
“That’s what she said.” Mauler replied.
“Ohhh! High five!” Maul said. They both raised their hands – “Jellyfish!” They started shaking their hands in wave like motions.
“Again!” They both said.
“Jellyfish!” They started waving their bodies in wave like motions towards each other. Maul and Mauler burst into laughter.
“He still lives?” A soft voice popped into existence and hissed. The room was ethereal, and yet the blackness choked the very air. The continuous drone of hypothetical machinery that made the hypothetical School stand seemed alive with vibrations as students that had exceeded the Out of School Suspension punishment with an intolerable act, were being fed to the everlasting automatons. It was known as Machine room or Systems Department, and rumored to lead to secret rooms. Of course, the truth was always much worse than the lies being spread around.
“Yes, master. FFF is still…very much alive.” The second voice spoke with a harsh cacophony, sounding like rough metal being grounded against an even rougher piece of metal, yet it licked its lips. If the creatures moved, their movements were indiscernible, and their eerie speech was shrouded with some type of cloak.
Suddenly, the light turned on, and the janitor walked in, only to see the two creatures. He started backing away.
“¡Perdóneme! Excuse me.” The man caught sight of one of the creatures hands rising up, a motion as fluid as water. They were made out of some sort of black liquid, and then the janitor smelled it – blood. Wings sprouted of the creatures’ backs and they seemed to stare at him with eyes that were not there. However, he had spoken too soon, and regretted ever thinking of that as he spewed sick all over the floor with what he saw next. Two rips formed on both the creatures’ faces, and two onyx marbles well out of the unfathomable slits. What the janitor does not realize is that, the creatures can very well finish him off without the aid of the eyes. It’s just that, it’s more fun if they can see what they’re doing in physical form. Quicker than lightning, the wing spears the man, killing him instantly. The blood spurts throughout the room, staining the wall. The wing begins dragging itself across the janitor’s body, while the man is still on the wall. Click. The light flickers into nothingness, and the man is thrown out of the room. There is something written on his chest.
“So he is, so he is. Make sure you do not permit failure to occur again, for the consequences could be quiet…painful,” The first voice had a silky tongue with an air of ultimate command that was followed quietly by the foul stench of death, “The next time that I see you, you better be with FFF’s body or impaled on his very sword.” A pause grew out of the voices and stayed, but only for a short while.
“…Yes, master.” Two slight hisses were abruptly drawn out into the silence. The voices had vanished, and the room lapsed into a state of reticence, once more; only to be interrupted by the usual scream.
---
Frederick walked down the hallway to his next class with Maul and Mauler tagging along. Mauler reached the door and pulled it open first. Mrs. Short, their science teacher, had a message for them.
“Frederick, Maul, Mauler,” she began.
Frederick’s head jerked as if he didn’t know what he heard, “What?”
“Sorry, that came out wrong. Mauler, Maul, Frederick t–”
Mauler answered, “Okay.”
Frederick warned him, “Touch me and I will kill you so many times, you won’t be able to come back to life.” Mauler laughed but stopped where he was.
Mrs. Short was in quite a predicament, “Maul, Mauler, Frederick,” She nodded to herself, “Yes that works out…sort of. The Office told me to tell you guys that you need to repo–” She was interrupted by the school’s intercom.
The intercom roared: “Frederick, Maul, Mauler…wait, no.”
Frederick Fitzgerald Filbert shook his head in disdain, “Christ. It happens every time.” The intercom crackled – someone was clearing their throat.
The intercom roared again, slowly: “Mauler, Frederick, Maul please report to your previous class. The rest of your classes have been cancelled,” Then as if the intercom could read minds, it spoke, “Your peers have already been informed of this. Please, hurry. Have a good day.”
“Like hell I will.” Frederick muttered to himself.
“Of course, we will.” Maul cheered, hugging Mauler.
RY flew through the school. The money had been taken care of, and he had heard the intercom calling him to his previous class. The immortal groaned then gasped in his mind. A janitor lay sprawled against the floor in front of him.
“What are you doing man?” RY asked, ignoring the spattered blood, “This is no time to be lazing around.” The janitor did not budge.
“Oh.” RY said to himself. The man had been dead for a short amount of time, “What killed you?” The immortals hand brushed against the jacket and found nothing unusual. The same hand shook the janitor, so the mortal’s mouth and eyelids fell open. His tongue rolled out with an arrow that was pointing downward, engraved in it. RY unbutton the man’s shirt and was shocked by what he saw: an engraftment in the man’s chest cavity.
LULZ
This was not a good sign.
---
“Welcome back, everyone. This class period will be spent on getting a few misunderstandings out of the way,” Mrs. W looked at Frederick, who then raised his hand, “Unfortunately, I cannot teach this myself, for due to certain past events, I have to go home so I can fully regenerate. However, the office has offered to temporarily replace me, with two of the best substitutes, I have ever seen.”
Mrs. W smiled for a quick moment and replied to Frederick with a bit of steel in her voice, “Yes, Frederick?”
“Why are you still alive?” he asked, “You imploded, and now I have control of this classroom. Good bye – forever.” At this, Mrs. W’s carefully controlled expression contorted quite a bit, however she held it in.
“Apparently, it is not to be, Frederick. I am coming back. And you can do absolutely nothing abo–” FFF towered over her, some indiscernible source of fear made her stop. She looked at the immortal, as if she was seeing him for the very first time – as if, she could actually see the God of Rage in the very silhouette of his tall frame. Frederick took another step, and raised his arm. Mrs. W trembled.
“Maybe this will be a happy ending after all,” Frederick said, his arm inching closer. Mrs. W felt her atomic structure reaching for infinite density.
“I would not do that, Frederick,” a silky voice uttered, yet somehow so dense that even Frederick felt his airway clog up. Abruptly, the Prep started grating out screech after screech. The second being entered the room. RY did not look in the voices direction, but his tendons were stretching out of his skin, and his mind was blazing with thoughts and broken images – the hallway – the machinery room – the dirty floor – the what the fu–? There was something missing. Something! What? What?
“LULZ?” “Not Applicable” breathed.
“What did you say?” RY asked turning to his friend.
“Look,” he pointed, “They wrote that on the board. I’m pretty sure it means something, although I’m not quite sure what.”
The janitor – LULZ engraved on the mortal’s chest – Mrs. W regenerating. RY strung it together, when the Prep squealed again.
“Do you have a problem, girl?” the second voice asked, liltingly. Someone retched, a result of the beings very voices, for they were too sweet, cloying inside your mind, penetrating it.
The Prep cocked her head, “No.”
“Then why do you squeal?” the first creature asked, a pool of ink black liquid fell at his feet.
“I like don’t know…like to get attention I guess. Like no one like looks at me like long enough.” The Prep told them, innocently, “Like only Varu like even spares me glances, but only like at night like when we’re like alone. Like.”
“Really,” the second creature drawled, “I can cure your ailment.”
“Oh my god! Like seriously! Like okay, and like hurry up.”
“As you wish,” both creatures told her. The Prep squealed and squealed and squealed, failing to notice the small black pool of liquid – blood? – as it crawled up her feet, alive. The Prep failed to squeal, and then really began squealing, as the liquid thicken at the edges of her lips and covered her face. In a fluid motion, she was wrapped inside a cocoon that opened only several seconds later.
“Thank you.” The cocoon cracked, and an obsidian creature being arose. The Prep is dead! Long live the It! Morale rose and sunk as they watched her come out of the cocoon. Whatever she was, she was human no longer. The class viewed her – a sickening creature, a result of no Nature, and she viewed them with non-existent eyes. Ironically, this was the longest amount of time that someone had looked at her.
Quicker than lightning, the first creature took her arm and swallowed her whole. A shiver ran through the creature, seemingly in bright pleasure.
Mafioso had the nerve to ask, “What the hell did you that for?”
“There are several things you do not know about the LULZ. ‘The Prep,’ as you call her, was a newborn. We hunt newborns on a regular basis, swallowing them whole. Unfortunately, she was created right now when the Hunt was due to begin one hour ago. If she had been created a little while back, we might have let her run,” the first creature nodded.
The second creature began, “However, enough chatting. We have to return to class.”
“I don’t think so,” the boy named Eve yelled, “Frederick rules this class, now get out or we will kick you out.” The creatures traced in front of him, making him clench the desk.
“I am sorry, but were you just expressing free will?” the second creature asked him sweetly.
“N-No. Not r-really.” Eve stammered back.
“Good. Free will can be quite a bit irritating,” the first creature muttered, “But on the other hand, I heard that Mrs. W left you quite a bit of homework.” No one said anything about how Frederick had dueled Mrs. W for this very reason, but when FFF started writing, no one had any idea what to do. Why wasn’t the guy beating them like he was supposed to?
An hour into their homework, Varu got up and went to the desk, “Umm…this proof is mistaken. It is impossible to do it.”
“No it is not.”
“Yes it is. I can’t do it any way I try to.”
“Fourteen.”
“What?”
“The answer is fourteen.”
“But the question about my opinion of last week’s test! How does that work?”
“See children, I prefer to think of geometry as a religion. It might not make sense, but you have to accept it anyway. It might be false, but you have to let it rule you.”
“And what happens if we don’t?” Varu asked arrogantly.
“Well,” the second creature took out a solitary match and lit it, “Let’s just say the LULZ loves bonfires, and we already have a match. How about we pretend you’re firewood?”
“Enough!” thundered FFF, “I’m finished with my homework – the know-it-notes, all one thousand questions, and the test.” He sat back down, and waited for the bell to ring, so he could leave this class. He hated it, and wanted to get out, already. The creatures read his mind –
“No one escapes Geometry class.”
---
Mafioso, Italian with roughly brushed auburn hair and a trim six-pack, looked at door. Blood surged through his arms, making the veins stand out, yet as he looked at two creatures on Mrs. W’s desk, all he said was, “Can I go to the bathroom?” One of the creatures turned their heads, giving him their special eye-less glance. Fluidly, it walked to his desk and shivered. Mafioso raised an eyebrow, “What?” The creature did not reply but handed him an empty soda bottle. It had been laughing.
I’m not standing for this crap anymore. He nodded at Frederick, who did not respond. The creature in front of him just shrugged as if it could care less. Mafioso turned his head to RY, who just nodded back. Abruptly, the class was rent into upheaval. RY flew at the creature’s throat, snapping its neck again and again, and the thing would die repeatedly, disintegrating at RY’s touch. Frederick, without looking up, quickly threw his gun at Mafioso, who caught it with a flick of his wrist and cocked it in the same motion.
“Nuclear powered with a hydraulic system? Nice.” Mafioso jumped over his desk, towards the door. The creature, its head in RY’s grasp, traced in front of Mafioso.
“I didn’t think I would have to do this,” the creature muttered.
“You won’t,” Mafioso replied, and shot the damned thing twelve times in the chest. The creature was thrown back by the force of the slugs punching out half his body.
“Holy crap, Frederick. Hollow points, t–” A pause lay in the air, and Mafioso began coughing up blood, followed by a peculiar feeling in his pockets.
“Maybe he won’t, but I will.” The leader of the duo hissed in Mafioso’s ear. The thing had jabbed its arm through his kidney. It traced.
“Get up.” The thing ordered. They were in the Office.
---
Everything’s blurry. He flexed his wrists. Can’t move my hands or legs. Tied to a chair. He shook his head and his hair fell into his eyes. What kind of world is this?
“Mafioso Rigatoni. You are being held in the Office. As of this moment, you have no rights, no thoughts, and no will.” A new, sweet voice spoke the truth. Mafioso’s head slumped against his chest, and his arms became limp. He somehow managed to look up at the voice’s origin, which was, apparently, the principal.
“I later get o…out and then I kill you,” he speech came out slurred, “Dammit, you drug Mafioso.”
“Like I said…no rights. You tried to kill our staff.”
“Mafioso needed to go pee, and they kill people too and I still need to go.” The principal handed him an empty soda bottle.
“What the hell? Okay, you never mind. Can I do this in bathroom?” The principal slowly nodded, so she grabbed his arm and traced him inside.
“You can’t come here! This boy’s restroom.” She didn’t reply, so he entered the stall and was surprised at what he found in his pockets: nothing. He cursed silently, until he noticed there was a round object in his hand – a small smiley face: a bomb.
A few minutes later, his business finished, Mafioso told the creature, “’Kay, I’m done.” Then he quickly threw his hand at the stall.
The principal rolled her eyes, “Nice try. But I’m not interested in pocket lint.” Mafioso just nodded, which made her narrow her eyes, “You want me to prove it?” For some reason, she grew very furious, and even more outraged when he just shrugged and kept tapping his foot. The principal ran in the stall, muttering to herself.
Six…five…Mafioso kept tapping his foot…two…one! It seemed as if the very air was rent apart, and the shriek of the principal couldn’t have been louder, as the small smiley face grew small spidery legs and attached itself to her face in a death grip – right before bursting apart. Mafioso flew through the air and hit his head against the bathroom wall, but still somehow managed to keep consciousness. He got up, cocked his gun right after loading it, and ran out the whole in the wall.
“Freedom! Take that you screwed up mother functions! Freedom!” Three black shapes traced in front of him.
“Get his neck, legs, and groin. After this, he’s going to think gargling cyanide’s fun.” The command swallowed his mind.
“Remember some decades ago? When Hawking tried to escape? We had fun with him.”
“The guy can’t move now. Too bad, he was a fine student. Mafioso Rigatoni…forks and knives? I’ll set the water to boil.”
---
Chaos was absent in the quiet geometry room, and yet the delectable atmosphere could not be called tranquil. No one dared to breathe until they could somehow know that Mafioso would return.
“Where do you think they took him?” Eve whispered quietly, shaking his head back and forth, sideways.
Helen snapped, “Mafioso’s free don’t you get it! What makes you think they took him?”
“You didn’t see them. Look at the Prep; that’s how we’ll end up,” Eve paused as if to comprehend the terror, “These creatures have driven me away from my sanity. We are no longer in Mother Earth’s bosom; we are in the butt-crack of Hell. You don’t get it do you? I need that bosom.” If Eve had not been mentally unstable, his personality would be screwed up due to the exposure of homosexual rabbits.
“That isn’t going to happen,” Helen argued, but shivers danced across the arches of her spine. Eve did not reply, just took his pencil, gave it a withering look, propped it on his desk with the sharp end up, and slammed his head into it.
RY chose this moment to tell Helen, “Mafioso’s not dead. While he was sleeping, I had taken the liberty of planting a bomb inside his chest cavity in preparation for this very kind of situation. I can see the bomb is still active, so of course Mafioso is still alive.”
“How does the bomb work,” Helen asked the immortal.
Frederick answered instead, “It’s kind of obvious. It reacts to the surrounding temperature, which in Mafioso’s case is a healthy ninety-eight point six degrees. Once, the temperature reaches a temperature less than eighty degrees, he–”
“Actually, the bomb detonates once Mafioso’s temperature reaches anything less than ninety-eight point three.”
Helen nearly pulled her hair out, “Are you crazy? So basically if he goes to a really cold place he explodes?”
RY thought for a second and nodded, “Yep. Pretty much.” Frederick looked at RY as if he was crazy.
“Not crazy, Frederick. I just plan for many different situations.”
“So do I, but I take it to less extremes.” Frederick retorted.
“If you don’t take it to that point of no return, you’ll never get anything done.”
“Touché.” Frederick said, and RY just grinned, “That’s that then. I will stop the black-eyed creatures.”
A beep sounded in the classroom. The monitor in RY’s hands blinked furiously.
Helen asked, “What is it?”
RY’s brows drew together, “It…it’s Mafioso. He’s disappeared.” Seeing RY shake his head in disbelief, Helen fainted and hit her head on a desk.
“Great, now she has a concussion. Who here is a doctor?” Yecnan piped up for the first time. Everyone shook their heads.
“Well crap.” Mauler said.
---
In the lightest corner of the office, lurked Animals of Unknown Possibilities. These strange beings were known as AUP. This was usually where all the paperwork was held.
In the corridor to the left, in the very last room, Mafioso’s rear end was super glued to his pants, which was super glued to a chair that was reinforced with heavy duty duck tape. He was also upside down.
“Did you plug in the microwave?”
“Yes.” Mafioso felt himself being put right side up.
“We can’t fit him in there.” One of the voices commented lightly.
“That’s fine with me. It’s bonfire time!” And in a matter of minutes, a large bonfire roared to life, with Mafioso stilled tied to a chair, which was now being rotated around horizontally on a stick. The very tips of his fingers started tingling, then his back began to burn but he still somehow resisted the urge to scream.
Squeak. Mafioso turned his head, only to see a mouse on the stick. I can’t believe this is happening, Mafioso thought, but I’m still glad for it. The mouse clambered onto the chair, and began gnawing at the knots. As the cheering continued, many minutes passed by perhaps an hour and the mouse was almost done.
“Come on, just a little more,” Mafioso whispered, coaxing it.
“Is that a mouse?” One of the voices said out loud. Damn it. Suddenly, a hand reached out a grabbed the mouse, causing it squeak frightfully. Mafioso’s lips parted about to yell, when he saw the mouse’s brown eyes full of utter fear. In a split second, it was sent tumbling into the air and into the anticipating jaws of the creature. It gave one last squeak, before being masticated by the rows of sharp teeth.
I hate today, Mafioso told himself. The stick he was balanced began to crack. The flames below him spit out thousands of sparks, delighted to see its prey succumbing at long last.
---
RY had just received a call, and had to leave for a special delivery of some sort. He bade “Not Applicable” goodbye, and left, shutting the metal door behind him.
“Not Applicable” strode out the door and asked to class to follow. In front of them was the rest of the school’s student body. He went into the center of the large crowd consisting of four hundred students.
“My fellow students, we have gathered today to be free of this school. Our nonexistence cannot be tolerated by us much longer, we have to live! We have to know what it feels to like to breathe, to eat food that isn’t radioactive. Join me and you are free. Free of the teachers and free of this school. Tonight, four hundred of you shall strike the creatures that run this twisted place. Tonight we feast on the very blood that chained us. Come join me and live!” A roar was sent through the crowd.
“Now who joins me?” “Not Applicable” yelled. Not a single muscle moved, and eyes darted around daring someone to make the first move.
Frederick stepped up, “I will, but I need the position as commander.”
“Done,” “Not Applicable” replied, “Next?” Maul walked forward, lips twitching, “I want to come too.”
“Not Applicable” looked at Mauler, “Aren’t you coming?”
“No,” Mauler replied, “I’m staying with Helen.” Maul’s face paled.
“You’re leaving me for a girl?”
“Yes, Maul. We weren’t meant to be.” Maul leapt forward, but Frederick caught him by the shoulder, “He’s right,” Frederick told him. However, no one else moved forward, ready to take a stand.
“Cowards! You want to be stuck here for the rest of eternity?” “Not Applicable” roared. Not a single student moved. His head bowed with disgust, turned to his fellow comrades and told them to follow. The three warriors marched through the hallway, each carrying a double-sided axe, strapped to their back.
Mafioso simply struggled until the stick broke, and he fell, almost into the flames but not quite. Before the creatures could comprehend what happened, he just ran like the wind, out of the Office, and raced to the school grounds. There was a sudden pain in his chest cavity, as if his heart was telling him to run faster. Mafioso sprinted towards the school grounds, and then when he jumped over the fence, it was as if a heavy blanket had been lifted off of his mind. His senses were sharper and he could breathe! It was rush of cold air in his lungs that kept him going.
“Excuse me, what are you doing?” A tall man in a trench coat and a bowler hat asked him.
After taking a moment to catch his breath, Mafioso began explaining, “I have been trapped in that school behind me – Westlake Intermediate School – for decades. You have to come with me, because I just got past some creatures that you cannot imagine. I’m pretty sure they were going to eat me, seeing as I was tied to a large stick that was tied to a chair, which I was super glued to…and wow! The chair’s gone! Never mind, my friends are all in there, we have to save them.” The tall man’s expression was indiscernible, revealing no emotion but a cold-hearted calculator.
“What?” Mafioso asked.
“There is no school behind you, and Westlake Intermediate does not exist,” the man proceeded to cock an eyebrow and looked at the area behind Mafioso. Mafioso spun around and he saw his school clearly.
“What are you talking about? It’s right there. Follow me,” Mafioso pleaded. The man did not answer, but held Mafioso’s head in his hands and raised a small flashlight in his eyes.
“Don’t worry, I’m a doctor and,” The man nodded, “Your pupils are dilated. To me it seems as if you have been hallucinating for a very long time.” Mafioso shook his head and started to turn away, when he lost all air. He was being choked.
“Sorry, son, I can’t let the mentally unstable run around. You’re coming with me.” Mafioso yelled but to no avail. He had heard of the Force, the asylum down the street. They entered the stark yellow building, and the man unlocked a cell door, only to throw Mafioso inside. The pain in chest was burning.
“Ah! Gods, I need to get out of here! Get me out!” The tall man ignored him.
“It’s for your own good.” Tears flooded Mafioso’s eyes for a reason he did not know. His internal body temperature dropped to ninety-eight point one. The tall man yelled when Mafioso exploded all over the cell, just another big mess.
---
The three students entered the Student Center, ripping the door out of their way. The Student Center was not an exciting place to be most of the time, unless you were flirting with one of the office aids, but even then things could get quite dreary. This particular was run by a short, short tempered lady, whose small bursts of anger could make you feel vertically challenged.
“Not Applicable” stormed over to the lady, his black eyes flashed, “We have some complaints about how you are running this school. There are some complaints to be filed. Very important complaints, otherwise things could get the dangerous.” The three axes in the room gleamed with sudden brightness. The lady nodded calmly.
“You might want to take that up with the people in the front desk.” Frederick and Maul laughed.
“Oh no. This goes much farther than your screwed up academic system. This goes into the very cancerous cells that lie within your heart,” “Not Applicable” jerked his head, “We are going to the Office.”
Maul said, “Wait, don’t you guys think we should prepare a plan or something? To help us get ready.”
“Ready,” “Not Applicable” scoffed, “I was born ready. Let’s go.” They ran to their left and took the first right into a steel door that would not budge.
Frederick said, “Let me handle this.” The metal door began bending open, and the trio squeezed through. Their jaws fell open at the sight. Liquid black beings stood before them, thousands in number, and holding swords of every kind.
“Untouchables, they cannot be touched a blade that wishes to harm them.”
“Untouchables?” Frederick scoffed. Both sides tense, and a war cry is let out. Untouchables? The three students put the name to the test. Maul cleaves every being in sight with his axe, as do the other two. Heads are severed from necks every second. The Untouchables, it seems, do not live up to their name. However, what the Untouchables lack in skill, they redeem in numbers. As the trio fights for their life, their honor, and their freedom; thousands of Untouchables swarm. Frederick Fitzgerald Filbert tries to implode every single enemy in the room but fails. “Not Applicable” is actually getting cut by the swords. The three warriors gasping for breath are abruptly overwhelmed by Untouchables that began using their swords in a fiercer manner.
“We tried, Frederick, Maul. We tried,” “Not Applicable was bleeding internally, “We were never cowards.” The warriors do not give up, but instead of the force of their enemies strengthening, it seems to be waning. Millions of Untouchables disintegrate, when RY emerges from the mass, in his hands a fifty-five inch long claymore, white hot and surrounding by invisible flames that lick its metal blade.
“Looks like I came just in time.” RY comments as he sees Frederick and “Not Applicable.”
“That’s…what…she said.” Maul groans, slicing an Untouchable.
RY turns his head, “Maul? I didn’t know you would brave enough to come along. Where’s Mauler?” Maul doesn’t reply.
“Oh.” RY grabs the last Untouchable and lifts him. The Untouchable’s face seems to dull as the legendary Highland claymore is driven through its chest. RY burns the Untouchable and he opens another door, which they go through. The four warriors make their way through slowly; sweat beading up with anticipation and the electric rush of adrenaline.
“I see that it is time we finally meet.” The creature in front of them is then met by hundreds of others. All of them – ink black and lacking souls, “We are now away from WIS and have time to talk.”
“Where’s Mafioso?” Maul asked.
“Part of him in Friendsweed Cemetery, and I guess the Force was not able to scrape his stomach and intestines from his cell wall.”
“Don’t listen to him, Maul,” Frederick instructs, then faces the creatures, “I know you are a part of Westlake Intermediate. But what part?”
“You still don’t understand? We are everything besides the student body, who we manipulate. We are in control here, Frederick. We always have been and always will be. Do you still wish to die?”
“Not Applicable” gave a dead laugh, “Funny, because I was going to ask you the same thing. But then again, rhetorical questions shouldn’t be answered.” With quick feet and silent wrath, the four warriors descended upon the thousands of creatures. One thousand miles away, a vulture turns its head, as its instinct pricks its feathers and tells it to rise. The smell of blood wafts in its mind; delicious.
---
There is a foreboding silence in the school. They all saw three student’s leave, and for the first time in years they felt a feeling that they should follow the trio, but their minds tell them otherwise. Their minds whisper the truth, If you want to survive, stay here. Live and forget freedom. You can’t have freedom if you are dead. The students’ thoughts are unanimous; We will never have freedom anyway. The minds reply, True. But living is much more important. The students slowly nod; it makes sense. Who wants to die anyway? Mauler and Helen hug each other tightly, like the rest of the student body; the tension has been relieved with logic.
Ironically, they are ripped apart by an underground detonator. The students’ thoughts are, So much for living. Their minds reply, Living’s overrated.
---
Swords and axes gleam in the school. The blades kiss the sky and dive down onto enemies.
“I’ve had enough of this crap,” Maul roars and charges towards the center of the room, where the core being is waiting.
“Not Applicable” turns his head, “Maul – dammit die already – you can’t kill it yet! Maul no!” Yet his warning is in vain. Maul takes his axe and fights the creature. They spar and parry, each sword thrust draws either blood – red or black. They are equally matched or so it seems, till the creature draws backs its hand, grabs Maul’s neck, and throws him to the air.
“Oh shit.” Maul closes his eyes, just before the creature spears him with its hand. It throws his body on the ground.
“Now to take care of you two,” the creature drawls. Frederick looks up and tries to make it implode, and nothing happens.
“Why the hell aren’t my powers working?” FFF yells.
“Simple. You don’t exist.”
“Don’t listen to him, Frederick. Just pay attention to what’s trying to kill you right now.” RY advises.
“Don’t you get it? Nothing seems right in this world does it? Why? Because you do not exist.
“Frederick, you should have figured it out by now. Why doesn’t God make sense? Why doesn’t science fit everything? Because we are not real. We are just figments of a Mind.”
“Then how can you explain different personalities? If we were all part of one Mind that would not be possible,” Frederick argued.
“The Mind has over a trillion personas, one for every creature or thing in the universe. It is schizophrenic,” the creature’s grin was apparent in its voice, “Ironic? Yes, but the truth often is.”
Frederick shook his head, “You keep saying, ‘You don’t exist,’ but what about you? You don’t exist either. What are you?”
“Oh, I exist. I am a part of the Schizophrenic Mind, itself; but only a small part – only one persona, but that’s why there are so many of me. What are we? Endorphins,” The creature shot its hand into Frederick and “Not Applicable” at the same time. It grabbed RY by the neck, “Good bye.” The three warriors were swallowed. The war ended the same way, as it had begun. Someone swallowed someone else.
---
The hiss of steam was present in the hallway. Smoke billowed out of the metal door as it was opened. A liquid hand reached in and the sound of a large lever being yanked down echoed throughout the school, while a release mechanism was activated, making a wall rise up into another chamber, revealing a hidden room.
Pods and chambers filled the room, and the creature walked around smiling. It knocked on one of the pods, breaking the ice away. It peered in, nodded, and pulled out a pen drive, only to eject it into of the drives built into the pod’s outer wall. The pod’s window lit up with a message:
UPLOADING PERSONA – 2% Complete.
In a few minutes, the progress reached a hundred percent, and the creature pushed a button marked, “Wake.” It then began to repeat the process with each pod.
A few seconds later, the face of FFF peered out of the pod’s window. His face was blank, and would remain so, since he would suffer from temporary amnesia for the next few hours. In a different row, Maul and “Not Applicable” peered out from their pods with blank faces. RY was being uploaded right now.
The creature sensed them waking up.
“Welcome, my new students.”
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